Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Swiper NO SWIPING (stop yelling too)

It is no secret to anyone who knows me that I have a broken volume control.  Not only does my volume knob go to 11, 11 is as loud as 15, and the volume knob is broken.

My issue with all the abuse I take regarding my facilities for volumetric speaking is that I am NOT LOUD.

I project.

Projecting is good.  Nobody ever leans into me and says “I couldn’t hear you, can you repeat that?”. 

I have taken a great deal of flak over the years from parents, girlfriends, and my wife over this.  The fact is I am blacklisted from libraries nationwide.  I could not even start to make this up.  I think everyone is just confused about the difference between being loud and projecting.

Now the kids are getting into the act.

Just this morning I was watching Dora the Explorer with my kids.  If you haven’t watched it before you need to be aware that the point is that when Dora speaks certain items you are SUPPOSED to YELL back at the TV. It’s intentional madness.

The fox tries to steal something and Dora yells “Swiper NO SWIPING” and all three of us yell  “Swiper NO SWIPING” (because you KNOW if you yell back loudly enough the TV character will stop whatever he is doing).

It appears insane, and I fit right in.  It takes no effort at all for me to talk loudly to the television.  Emily and I PROJECT at the TV regularly and usually without interuption during Dora, but this morning Braedyn let me have it.

Braedyn with furrowed brow: “DADDY, can you STOP?”

Me: “Why?”

Braedyn doing his best Elvis Presley crooked mouth: “Because I can’t hear it.  Your voice is too HUGE!”

Sure, you can hear me now.  Maybe next time when Dora yells “Swiper NO SWIPING” I should follow up with “CLEAN YOUR ROOM!” or “GET ME MY WINE!” although at 8am that’s probably not ok.

On second thought…

Freezing your VW Off

Poor Stella.

I bet she thought she was going to get special treatment.  Appears when the weatherman says 6° and snow I should listen and put you in the garage.  Now you must sit till the weather warms up enough to unfreeze you.


Saturday, December 5, 2009

Leave a Legacy of Tolerance and Kindness

The Marriage Bill is our generation’s chance to change society’s injustice. The late 1800’s saw the addition of the Fifteenth Amendment to the constitution, giving people of color the right to vote. The early 1900’s saw women finally get the right to vote with the addition of the Nineteenth Amendment. People need to stop the injustice and discrimination against same-sex marriage, and let their children, and their children’s children know that they were part of the change. Now. Seriously, our grandchildren’s grandchildren are going to look back at this time and wonder what the hell the big deal was.

When thinking back to the women’s suffrage movement or the civil rights movement, I believe that the people who were against it back then were a bunch of ignorant and racist jerks. I think the same type of sentiment will be held in the future for those against the marriage bill today. It’s time to stand up against this injustice and leave a legacy of tolerance, kindness, and acceptance to our children.

Senator Diane Savino really did a great job standing up for the Marriage Bill. She’s leaving a positive legacy. Shouldn’t you?