Monday, October 22, 2012

Slap My Ass Like An American Athlete

by He Said

Its soccer season again.. ok, it’s almost over, but that’s not really the point to my rambling here.  It’s to tell you a story.

Last week I’m at the park while B is at soccer practice.  It’s a popular park for dog walkers and there is an older gentleman that I have seen there several times.  It isn’t that he stands out that I remember him, but that he has a dog that looks like a walking cotton ball.  A big white fro with legs this dog is. This particular evening I sat on the park bench on the patch this evening rather than on the grass.

As the older gentleman (I’m using this term loosely as you will soon learn) approached his dog came to me and as a dog lover I naturally greeted it with love and attention.  The man was was wearing his Veterans of Foreign Wars baseball cap and a jacket with military insignia, flags and the like.  A proud vet.  Being the grandson of a WWII veteran of the Navy on one side, and a Army Soldier on the other as well as a father who served in the Army I was raised to respect those who have served our country. Rightly so, I automatically give someone who has served our country proud a little more respect than the average stranger.

As I am sitting there petting this “gentlemen's” dog I look up and smile and he says to me, “What’s with all these kids playing soccer? Why aren’t they playing baseball and football.” I tried to explain to him that they play football and baseball at the baseball and football  parks.

As though he didn’t hear a word I said (and maybe he didn’t, he had a few years on him) he said “When I was a kid, we played American sports like baseball and football. Not this pussy sport.”

uh…can I stop referring to him as a gentleman and he dropped two notches of respect.

So what the hell am I supposed to say to this guy who once served our country risking life and limb to guarantee the freedoms we enjoy today who just called my kids sport a “pussy sport?”

I was flabbergasted.  I couldn’t speak.  I just looked at him, pet his dog one more time and looked away.

When I told this story to a coworker he had a response that I WISH I had at the time. I wish I had said something like. “So right. Those ass slapping sports are SO much more manly.”