Bathroom Musings

Posted by He Said

And now for something a little lighter.

Ask anyone in my family and they will tell you that when I go to take "my morning constitutional" as my father called it, I have a tendency to lose track of time. I might find myself reading a good news story, or shopping for my latest "obsession".

Many times though I find myself playing a game (get your head out of the gutter). It doesn't even have a name. It's one I have played since I was a young boy. Ok. Go write your dirty comments, then come back and finish.

Lets call it Bathroom Musings for the lack of a better name. If I stare at an object, a shape or pattern I start pulling images from them. If I had any sort of artistic skills they would be great inspiration for drawings.

The large tiles in our bathroom have a numerous number of animals, shapes and objects in them, and they change every time I stare at it. Especially depending on my mood. Here is the main whole tile I see at my feet.

Just the other morning, I was in a good mood and the first shape I saw was a heart. A plain and simple heart. Do you see it...

Then as I stare at it, it starts to get a little more complicated.  Like the roaring lion! He is facing left.  His nose is probably the most defined.  Do you see it?

Then on darker days there are evil characters sometimes.  Demons and ghouls. Like this evil face with the Bob's Big Boy hair and depending on how you look at it, he might have an over sized head with a little black body riding on a broomstick.  Yes. I have been watching ALL the Harry Potter movies with the kids.

Maybe I will post some more as I see them (if you care to see more, let me know).  Do any of you play a game like this?

A Little Norwegian Baking Anyone

I recently ran across a Reno resident on the internets and found her writings, and photography interesting.  I started following @Teepoole on twitter and saw her post this very gorgeous photo, of krumkake which inspired me to write down my history with traditional Norwegian baking. My photos are not nearly as pretty, but it’s the thought, right!
 
Photo by by teepoole
For generations my family has been making krumkake,  sandbakkelse and rosettes during the holiday season.  The tins, tools and recipes used have been passed down over the generations.  Sadly, both the krumkake iron and rosette iron (both made of cast iron) were dropped and broken before being handed down to me.  I have purchased new rosette irons (2 now) and still have the sandbakkelse tins that have been passed down from my great grandmother (as I understand it) .  I still have the krumkake iron, but it’s broken at the hinge which makes it unusable.
My mother used to slave over these cookies every holiday.  If you are new to the making of these cookies, here is a little background. 
Rosettes are made by dipping a hot iron in batter and deep frying.  This is  slow and tedious process and the reason I have two irons. When baking by myself, I always have one iron in the fryer.  When my son Jacob helps, as he has for the last 2 years, we both have an iron.  This is a big help. Thanks Jake!
The instructions I have from my family were always very basic, and the method for making the best rosettes was always handed down orally.  So I have written down my method and will share with you here.  You will need a rosette iron.  When you get good at it, two is faster.
Rosettes
Makes about 42
Ingredients:
2 Eggs
1 Cup Whole Milk (from your best cow)
1 Tsp Vanilla
1 Cup Flour
1 Tbsp Sugar
Fat for frying (original recipe called for lard)
1/4 Tsp Salt Powdered Sugar

In a bowl combine the eggs, granulated sugar, and 1/4 Tsp salt; beat well. Add flour, milk, and vanilla; beat smooth. Heat a rosette iron in deep hot fat (375°). Dip hot rosette iron into batter, being careful batter comes at least to 1/4 of the way to the top but NOT over the top of the iron.

TThe technique for frying is to lower the rosette into the fat slowly until you see the batter “flower” away from the iron. If you do not do this you will struggle to get the rosette off of the iron. Note the batter separating from the iron as it is allowed to “flower”.

It is at this point that you can lower it fully into the oil.  Fry rosette in the hot fat till slightly golden, about ½ to 1 minute (they will continue to cook after removed). Lift iron out; tip slightly to drain off excess fat. Using a fork carefully push rosette off iron onto several layers of paper toweling on top of several layers of newspaper. As each rosette cools, move to a newer layer of paper towels to allow for additional drainage of oil. Replace towels as needed. An oily rosette is a yucky rosette. Allow rosettes to cool overnight.  Do not put them in a sealed container or they will remain soggy. Sift powdered sugar onto rosettes.
Note: The first few rosettes will be “tasters” and each following rosette may require additional time adjustments till you are satisfied with the results. Practice, practice, practice.

Sandbakkelse
On to the sandbakkelse.  This traditional cookie is typically made using almonds or almond flavoring.  I am not a big fan of the almond flavoring, so one year I substituted vanilla for the almond, and it was a big hit with a family who has been eating them every year for all of my life, and my mother for all of hers. Yikes, breaking one tradition, and creating my own.  The cookie is then traditionally filled with jam, jelly or lemon tart filling.  We have always just eaten them plain.  One year I made a barbaric break from tradition and dipped a few of the cookies in a family fudge recipe. I half expected to hear “blasphemy” shouted at me from all sides, but instead I heard “why didn’t you dip them ALL of them in fudge!!!???”  That was the clincher.  For the last few years I have made them the same way.
The key tool you will need are sandbakkelse tins.  Also called sand tins.  The trick here is to get older seasoned tins.  I have tins passed down from my family as well as newer shiny tins.  Frankly, I find the new tins nearly impossible to use.  I recommend getting “vintage” tins if you can find them. The new tins tend to be too slick, making it hard to press the dough into them.
Newer tin (not so good)  

Vintage tin (best bet)

The Sandbakkelse Recipe:
Makes: a lot
Ingredients:
1 lb. soft butter
2 teaspoons vanilla (or almond)
2 cups sugar
1 egg
about six cups or more of flour
Wash hands thoroughly (trim nails, you will see why when you press the dough). Mix ingredients in order given. Use more flour if necessary so dough can be easily handled and so it will leave the bowl.  Most recipes call for chilling the dough.  In my experience this actually makes pressing the dough into the tins more difficult. The technique I employ is to press the dough into the bottom of the tin, rotate, press, rotate, working the dough up the sides of the tin. Press the dough until it’s almost thin enough to see through. I then brush the dough off the edges of the tins and press the rim into the palm of my hand to create a smooth well formed rim.  Fill half of your tins and then bake at 350° for about 10 minutes or until slightly golden.  While the first batch is baking, you can continue pressing dough into the tins so that you create a round robin of tin filling and baking.
Your first batch will most likely be done baking before your are done pressing dough into the rest of your tins.  This will allow the first batch to cool enough to remove them from the tins. Cup the bottom of the tin in the palm of your your hand and gently squeeze the tin at the rim as you rotate the tin in your hand until the sandbakkelse is loose and falls from the tins.  This method works better for me than using a fork or other method to remove the cookie.
The first batch will be “tasters” and will most likely stick to the
tins until you get the hang of it. Do not wash them, just scrape out what you can and go again. Successive batches will be easier to press into the tins as they will be warm from the prior batch.  I actually leave the dough and tins on the top of the stove near the heat vent so they stay warm.
I then make a batch of our fudge and dip half of the cookie in the fudge, place it on parchment paper and place in the fridge to cool.

UPDATE: Adding the fudge recipe by popular request.

Mama Moyle's Fudge

Ingredients:
1/4 lb butter
18 oz semi-sweet chocolate chips (roughly 2 1/4 cups)
1 - 12oz can evaporated milk
4 1/2 cups sugar
2 tsp vanilla
1 jar marshmallow whip

Be sure you are prepared to dip the Sandbakkelse cookies before you start. Have enough cookie sheets with parchment paper prepared ahead of time.  Once this process gets rolling, there is no changing direction. If the fudge cools too quickly you will not be able to dip the Sandbakkelse. It is also helpful to have all the butter unwrapped, the vanilla measured out and the marshmallow jar opened and the safety seal removed.

In a large pot (as the milk and sugar will foam to a large volume), stirring CONSTANTLY bring the milk and sugar to a rolling boil.
Maintain a boil and stir constantly for 9 minutes. You will need to adjust the heat, but a boil is important as you are working to caramelize the sugar.
When the 9 minutes is up reduce heat to a simmer and stir in the butter until melted.
Stir in the vanilla.
Stir in the marshmallow until melted.
Stir in the chocolate chips until melted. Based on the thickness, you may choose to NOT put all the chocolate chips in, or you may wish to add additional marshmallow fluff to allow for a thinner consistency.  This all comes with practice.

At this point I put the heat at the lowest setting and start dipping Sandbakkelse into the fudge.  Dip in half way and place on a parchment sheet.  Allow to cool.

I usually try to put them in the fridge to set the fudge, but after that, they do not HAVE to be kept in the fridge.

I hope you give these recipes a try and enjoy them as much as our family does.

Time To Beef Up Security

by He Said

So, yeah.  I'm gonna post something.  I know you all thought we were dead, or had forgotten the password to our blog site.  It's really been none of the above, but just plain laziness.  I don't see all of YOU blogging everyday.  So this might be a bit rambling, or even boring, but I need to get back into it so you all have to suffer through it.  All four of you!

 Braedyn has a new canned response he gives us every time we film a funny video, or take a funny picture or even laugh at something we think is hillarious!  "Don't you put that on the internet!" he will scream at us.

I am not sure how I am supposed to respond to that other than by doing this.

That's not why I started this post.  Today is really all about Emily and her new found fears. Fears of going to the bathroom unless one of us is STANDING there watching her.  I don't know what she is afraid of, and she just says "I'm scared" and will stand in the hallway crying until:

1.  I give in and follow her down the hall into the bathroom or
2.  She pees her pants.

I never let us hit number 2.

This fear has now extended to the nighttime routine.  I tuck her into bed and if I scoot her over to the wall, you know, next to the deep dark crevasse of evil where the wall meets the bed, I have to be careful because the claws come out and embed themselves in the nearest area of my flesh.  That's when the ear curdling cries start as well.

So, I have learned NOT to scoot her towards the wall.

Most recently she began telling me she didn't want to sleep on the lower bunk.  She was scared.

Me: "What are you scared of Em?"
Em: "I hear noises at night!"
Me: "Emily, that's probably Charmin walking around, or me getting up to check on you because you moan at night, or mommy getting up to go potty."
Em: "No, they are other noises.  Its not Charmin."
Me: "What kind of noises?"
Em (speaking in COMPLETE seriousness): "I can hear a man walking around the house and he is carrying a sword he wants to stick in me."

Now I try to be a good dad.  I try not to laugh when my kids say really funny stuff.  This time I kept my composure, but I swear I heard Braedyn chuckling in the upper bunk.

Me: "Have you ever actually seen the guy walking around the house with a sword at night? Because I think I do a pretty good job at keeping strangers with swords out of the house at night."
Em: "I'm SERIOUS!"

And she was.....

I keep looking for evidence of a late night swordsman.  If you see one in my neighborhood, or yours, please, let me know.

What’s Thankgsiving Without Wings.

Posted by He Said

There are many laws and rules which shape our lives and the world we live in.  Gravity, Physics, Murphy’s Laws and a more specific but particular favorite of mine is the If You Have Been Married For Any Length Of Time You Will Be Required To Purchase Feminine Hygiene Products For Your Wife Law. Now let me be clear, I don’t find this embarrassing or awkward in any way.  It’s life.  In fact, there is something particularly enjoyable about being asked if I would mind “picking something up” when I KNOW it’s going to give me fodder  for a good mocking.

My wife looks at me all doughy eyed as this is going to be a HUGE inconvenience for me. “Will you pick up some panty liners for me?”

YES. In my head I am already processing, realizing that there is a good joke in here somewhere.  In fact I thought about it so much I apparently stood there looking dumbfounded because I paused long enough for her to ask if it was a big deal, and then for her to retract her question.  After a bit of convincing that no, really, this is just funny for me because the If You Have Been Married For Any Length Of Time You Will Be Required To Purchase Feminine Hygiene Products For Your Wife Law has just kicked in and I think its funny.

So I ask “What kind?”
She Said: “It doesn’t matter.”
Me ( very skeptical ): “What size?”
She Said ( very mockingly ): “There is only one size.”
Me: (throw skeptical WTF are you saying look).
She: (throws are you an idiot look)
Me: (quickly retract skeptical WTF look and say) “Ok, I will get some at the store.”

Now in a society that has human beings of many shapes and sizes I just assumed that there would be super tiny panty liners for oh say a size 0 woman. Everything we buy has choices to be made.  For a moment I thought I just MIGHT be right about this (I was right once before) and then the moment passed and I realized that of course I MUST be wrong.  There probably is only one kind of panty liner.  Right?  Getting my wife’s preferred panty liner details was like pulling teeth.

When I finally got to the Feminine Hygiene products aisle I see that I was right.  There is more variation in panty liners than Ford has in its auto lineup.  To prove it I had to use the panorama app on my phone to capture it.

So the texting conversation went a little something like this.

Me: There is only one kind (include picture above).
She: LMAO.  Unscented. I don’t care what brand.
Me: What brand do u usually buy. Only generic say unscented.
She: Always. I think. Usually grab the best deal. Go figure.

The cheapest unscented brand was a box of 24 for like a dollar.  I KNEW if I brought this home there would be something about them that was wrong.  I just couldn’t get myself to do it.  I couldn’t find the Always brand in unscented. So I started browsing the various types.  Just a small sampling of the “one size” as my wife put it.

Regular, regular with wings, regular with wings scented, long, long with wings, long with wings with baking power, all night, super thin and all variations in between.  My favorite choice of all were the thong shaped. I thought about bringing those home just for fun to prove that I could screw this up somehow.

In the end I found a non $1 brand that met the detailed requirements and purchased those.

This blog is the follow up to the mocking my wife got when I got home. I don’t think I will be letting this go anytime soon, and as such, I don’t think I will be asked to buy panty liners anytime soon.

What’s In A Number Anyway

Posted by He Said

This last week there has been an unusual focus from the kids on numbers.  I don’t know if it has to do with what the kids are studying in school, a change in what Susanne and I are asking of the kids, or that Susanne has been counting the stacks of $100 bills we have been saving since we moved out of the house.  Regardless there has been a lot of Braedyn walking around the house counting by 1, 10, 20 and even by 100’s as high as he can go.  And he can count high, let me tell you. As proud a parent as it makes me to hear him get started, it’s a little like listening while sober to someone sing “Bottles of beer on the wall” and counting down from one billion.  Yeah.  It really is a little like that.

Just a few days ago, we were all sitting around in our family time circle.  For newcomers this is me on the couch with my iPhone and/or laptop, Susanne at the dining table on her laptop AND iPhone and both the kids either watching a movie, or playing on their iPods.  Like I said, family time, I mean we are all in the house at once, what more can you ask for.

So there we are, enjoying family time and Braedyn starts counting by 1,000’s.

“One thousand, two thousand, three thousand” and no, I will not edit this for brevity, if I have to live through it, then so do you, “four thousand, five thousand, six thousand, seven thousand, eight thousand, nine thousand and one MILLION!”

He looked at me with an ear to ear grin, just bursting with pride.  He was SO thrilled with himself and looking for confirmation of his grand feat, and what does this un-father of the year do?  I look at him, tell him, great job, but “after nine thousand comes ten thousand.” 

He pauses for a moment and says “No dad, when you count to one thousand by one hundreds there are no ten one hundreds, so there are no ten thousands.”

Now this is logic that is hard to argue with. I mean when you think about it, he has a point.  There are ten 1’s when counting to ten and there are ten 10’s when going to 100 and there are ten 100’s when you are going to 1,000.  So who am I to argue that somebody really screwed up this counting thing and that Braedyn’s logic is sound. But I tried to explain that there really were 10,000’s and more on the way to one million.  All I did was make my son feel bad.  I took note of this, slotted it in the back of my mind in the section “thing’s NOT to correct my son about”  and said, “well, ask about it in school and let me know. “  End of the argument and we all returned to family time.  I don’t think I ruined him for life.  I won’t know till he calls from from jail to bail him out.  That will likely wait till he is at least 18.

As I said, this has been the week of numbers.  Saturday the three of us (Susanne had left me yet again, and yes, she came back) were on our way to get a little high.  Doughboy Donut sugar high that is.  Nothing like an angel cream stuffed chocolate covered donut to start the day.  Halfway to our destination Braedyn pipes up with a comment about lines of cars being the definition of traffic. I of course was shocked that he was focused on SOMETHING, ANYTHING other than how to piss his sister off in the car. So I jumped on the opportunity to keep the conversation going.

Me: “Yes, technically the cars don’t have to be in a line to be traffic, there just have to be lots of cars on the road to be a lot of traffic.”
Braedyn: “Like in China where there are lots of cars?”
Me: “Yes, and in China there were thousands of cars on the road, wasn’t there?”
Braedyn: “Yeah, maybe millions, or even billions!”
Me: “Yeah, maybe!”

Emily had been strangely quiet up to this point, and I was wondering if she was even paying attention when she pipes in with “or maybe more, maybe one hundred and three!”

This time I kept my mouth shut, I mean, what’s in a number anyway.

Imaginary Things

Posted by He Said

It has been a long time since I blogged and my fingers and brain are feeling rusty from the lack of it, so bear with me.  With all that has been going on, we are just finally getting settled.  Our new house is shaping up, a change in my job is settling and I am getting back into an old groove of game development and our kids are getting settled in their new routines with soccer and scool.

Now it’s not that I haven’t had the time to blog, or stories to blog about, its just a matter of lack of motivation.  So this is me trying to point the canoe upstream and start paddling towards a goal.  Not just one, but several.  Blog more, eat less, exercise more, brush teeth less, or something like that.  So forgive me if the story sways or the grammar is poor or, well, I forget an apostrophe or two.

She Said has been prodding me (I can’t call it nagging because she has been WAAAAY to gentle for me to call it nagging) for me to blog.  I have a short story to tell, but I have to warn you.  If your religious sensibilities are easily jarred, then you should just stop reading now.  I can say right here, that means every member of my immediate family should just click here, and not look back. This should scare the rest of you off.  This post is about my lack of religion…run…run away NOW!  The rest of you heathens can stay.

A few days before our move the kids and I were home vegging and I let them watch Santa Buddies.  Back off.  I don’t judge you, don’t you DARE judge me.

Wait, I can sense that some of you that shouldn’t be reading this are still here.  Seriously…some of you should just leave now, you have been warned.

Out of the blue Braedyn looks over at me and says “Daddy, some people believe in god, but I don’t.”  WHAM, it was like a 2x4 hit me out of nowhere.  Kind of like when She Said asks if she can go shopping.  I mean, it NEVER happens.

My five year old just hit me with sentence I waited until I was 17 to throw at my parents, and that I can tell you didn’t go well.

I think I was more confused as to how to handle this than if he had asked “Daddy, why does my penis get hard?”  But I pulled myself together quickly and responded as best I could.  You see I may not believe in god and frankly I think we can all agree that as a general rule parents EXPECT their children will believe (or not believe as the case may be) along the same lines as their parents, BUT I also want my children to make their own decisions and especially be respectful of other peoples beliefs. To. A. Point!  To steal a phrase She Said uses a lot.  You are free to believe in your religion.  Just don’t get any on me.

So I responded as best I could. I explained that while we may not believe in a god, that many people do.

Sounding good so far, right?

I continued on that his uncles, aunts, grandma, niece and nephew and the rest of our family all believe and that we should respect that.

Then things went downhill and I took the easy way out.

So to make life easier for all of us we just don’t talk about god with our family, ok?

Yeah, I never said I was going to get the Best Atheist Parenting Award.  Lets just avoid talking about it shall we?  You see, it’s impossible to win the religion argument when logic is completely removed from the discussion.  So I figure lets just not argue about it.  And let me tell you, I am logical.  My family used to call me Spock.  Thank FSM that one didn’t stick or I would have been labeled a geek for the rest of my life. Wait, CRAP, that happened anyway.

Braedyn seemed to understand.  He stared at the ceiling for a moment as if contemplating the depth of my Carl Sagan like insight and then responded.

“But I believe in Santa Claus.”

Me too Braedyn, me too. 

Rounding Out

Posted by He Said

While in China (I know, China again, get used to it; I think that many blogs will still start like this for some time to come), I initially lost weight for the first couple weeks. Then I discovered fried bread, and I lost that anorexic look I have worked so hard to achieve. 

For those who don’t know me personally, I have struggled with my weight since my late 20’s.  I started out life as a plump well rounded 10lb 4oz baby but thinned out quickly and was a stick for most of my early years.  I could eat whatever I wanted, as much as I wanted, and never filled out.  During my late teens I would eat an entire box of Lil Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls and wash them down with a quart of chocolate milk. Oh, those were the days. Here is a picture of what I looked like in my late teens.  I am the guy on the far right. Please, no comments on the shorts.  I know how hot I look.

Then something terrible happened. My metabolism slowed and slowed, and food became a battle.  Not just because I could no longer eat whatever I wanted, but because food is also something I turn to when I am stressed or depressed.  Of course, the same time my metabolism slowed I also went through a divorce and boy oh boy did the pounds come on then. I went from around 185 (I was 165 in the pic above) to a whopping 275 near the end of my 30’s.  To prove this, I have a photo taken of me at Skywalker Ranch. Yes, THE George Lucas Skywalker Ranch – do you know how HARD it is to work in an excuse to brag about that one. I’m the tall young one on the right.  Not sure who the statue is of, but it looked pretty cool.

So you can see I put on a few pounds and lost a few hairs (but that’s a blog for another day).  Some time after this picture was taken, my beautiful wife, She Said, and I decided it was time to crack down and work on our weight.  It took a long time and many struggles, but we did it.  I actually rocked my way back down to 210 and was feeling really good about myself.  Here I am in 2005.  Looking pretty slim if I do say so myself.

But I was never able to keep my weight down that low.  It has always been a struggle and while I knew that I have been putting my weight back on ever since we went to China, I have not done anything about it, nor have I really wanted to.

Until today.

Today I was walking out of the office with one of the China employees who is here visiting, and he looked at me and squinted his face.  This is the look I am all too familiar with.  It is the look he gets on his face when he is processing language translations so that he can say something he is not sure of the correct English for.

“You are looking different since you were in Beijing.”

“Really? I did shave my head this weekend,” I say.

“No,” he replies, “you are looking rounder.”

“Are you saying I have gotten fat?”

“Yes,” he says, “Why is that? Too many burgers?”, which with his Chinese accent comes out sounding like “boogers”, but I get the point.

I need to ride my bike to work.

Or eat fewer boogers.

Good Karma

Posted by He Said


I found an iPhone 4 in the street today. In fact, I am pretty sure I clipped it with my front wheel before it registered what it might be. I stopped, picked it up, and it still worked! It wasn't even locked. I could have kept it, but I didn't. As much as I want the new iPhone, I couldn't keep it. All right, all right, my wife wouldn't let me. So I looked for a number labeled Home in the contacts and gave it a ring.

"Hello, I am calling from an iPhone I found in the street."
An uncomfortable pause.
"Do you have an iPhone?" I ask again.
"My son does?", and she yells away from the phone at her son "where is your iPhone?"

I can only imagine being that teenager at that moment and nearly crapping my pants. They came by and picked it up. And my reward? A nervously gracious thank you from a teenage boy. OK that and knowing I did the right thing. Oh hell, who am I kidding? He could have at least offered to mow my lawn.

3GS Experiences Grip Of Death

Posted By He Said

I admit it.  I love new technology and I do respect the beauty of Apple products.  As such I bought She Said an iPhone 3G a few months after they came out.  I followed up with the 3GS for myself and then upgraded to an iPhone 4 for She Said. All this hoopla about dropped calls and the grip of death had me wondering. 

Does the 3GS suffer from the “Grip Of Death?”

Yes, yes it does.

Now I did this test before I had a chance to search the internet for this issue and I see that many others are having this issue.

Hey Mr. Jobs.  Can I have a free case too?

P.S. This video was recorded with She Said’s iPhone 4 while she was sleeping.  Don’t tell. Sorry about the video quality.  Apparently Dropbox compresses on the phone so I will have to copy the original off directly for better quality.

Streamlining Life

By He Said

Upon our families return from China, one of the first questions that is usually asked is “how are you adjusting to being back home?”  This is frankly a difficult question to answer.

Growing up I always felt that big city living was not for me.  Seeing as I grew up in Carson City (far Far FAR from being a big city) and then spending my college years and second half of my life in Reno, Nevada I can honestly say that I have never really LIVED in a big city. Until now.

I think living in Beijing, a city of 6,483 square miles and 22 million people, in an apartment with my entire family for three months (while having a regular job) qualifies as having experienced city living.

And guess what?  I loved it and I disliked it and I liked it and I hated it.

How can that be you ask? 

For starters, I found that I really enjoyed not driving a car for three months.  There were very few occasions that I wished I had a car.  Public transportation met my every need.  Now I understand that the cost of living variation made this public transportation much more cost effective, but it was the convenience of it that I truly enjoyed.  I even learned to appreciate the bus system (not the Double Decker bus mind you because I needed Alice’s “Drink Me” shrinking potion to comfortably fit on the top deck).  Don’t get me wrong.  I understand there are things I would need or want a car to do living here in the states, but for day to day living, not having to use a car was actually in itself a convenience.

Food.  It was everywhere and once I figured out how to get Susanne to order everything for me, it was convenient. It was an adventure to try new foods from street vendors and be able to choose from 15 different food sources all on the same street.  Food variety within walking distance or by public transportation was really cool.  I am sure having McDonalds, KFC (click the link and enjoy) and groceries delivered by bicycle messenger added a little romance to it, but hey, when they refuse a tip, what’s not to like.

Green grass and expansive parks.  They had them, but they were so rare and far away that even the public transportation didn’t make them easy to visit.  With two small children this had a huge suck factor.  There was no grass, no place for kids to run and play anywhere near our apartment.

Apartment living.  I can live in an apartment.  I have done it here in town.  As long as you can take a short walk and find a place to play Frisbee or simply chase each other around it is livable.  The apartment situation in Beijing was not kid friendly.  Living on the 10th floor where the only place for the kids to play is the walkway around the center “space” of the apartment building was not cool. A 10 story high empty space surrounded by a walkway on each floor – (where one small leap over the guardrail meant certain death). Every time my kids ran out the front door my stomach was in a pit.  This is one of those things I am glad to be done with. Here are the kids looking up to the apartments above (where we lived).

So I learned that there are certain things about city living that I like and others that I do not.  I learned that if there was a way for me to live near a big city and still have the ability to live near the mountains or a place where parks were plentiful, or even better yet near the ocean as I have always wanted to, then that would be the ideal situation for me.  What is my ultimate fantasy?  Seattle area, Bainbridge Island, Issaquah or similar area. A big city with the outdoors and ocean/sound right in the backyard.  This is nothing new.  This is something I have wanted for over 20 years now.

This is what I want for myself and my family.  To sweeten the deal, that is what my wife would like as well.

Beijing taught me that ultimately Reno is not the place for me. I want more.  I want to live out my dreams, see more, experience more.  It was my extended family that convinced me to take the opportunity to move to Beijing for three months.  They of course had no way of knowing that it would also show me the world is full of so many opportunities and that I should try explore and experience those as well.

My father was an explorer at heart.  He had dreams of buying a motor home and traveling the USA.  He wanted to see all that America had to offer.  He worked long and hard.  Always planning to do everything he wanted to do AFTER the kids had graduated college, after he retired.  He got cancer. He had a stroke.  He had to quit working and he died before he ever got to do the things he wanted to do.  This will not happen to me.  I want to be able to do things in the now.

So we put our house on the market today.  Yes, we can banter the pros and cons and talk about weather and rain and the bad real estate market, but ultimately what I want is a change.  This is not a change that is happening today, tomorrow or even this year.  But it is change that WE ultimately want and we will be prepared when it comes.  When adventure calls I want to be able to move quickly and swiftly.  I don’t want to say “oh, that would be great to sail around the world on your expedition.  What? My family can come and there will be schooling on board and snorkeling with turtles and dolphins! Oh, I have this house and I need to sell it first, sorry, I can’t go” (this is an extreme example, there are no plans to go on an expedition, but if you know of one feel free to message me!) or when Susanne says “OMG Greg, its Bill Gates on the phone. He wants you to come work for the foundation, says he found you using BING and you MUST come work for him!” (ok, I told you this was about DREAMS!).

I do not want to be caught behind the eight ball when adventure comes calling or there is an opportunity for change. Even better, if we are prepared for adventure there is nothing stopping us from looking for some rather than waiting for it to find us!

So we have put our house on the market.  We are purging and selling our stuff.  We are streamlining and preparing. When we sell the house we will find an apartment and save some money.

Simply put we are preparing for some unknown change that has yet to come. We are streamlining our life.  I hope you all will support us and come along for the ride.

P.S. If you want to pay me to “adventure” and blog about it you can DM me on twitter @gmoyle.

P.S.S. If you do ever move to Beijing or have an extended stay, be sure to use Beijing Home Delivery and tell them Susanne and Greg sent you.  They won’t know who we are, but it might be fun to listen to them pretend to remember us.

Help Me Return This To Its Rightful Owner

Posted by He Said
Back in my college days, I was taking a photography class, one of many as it was my major (obviously English was NOT!).  During one semester our entire class went down for a week to Tonopah Nevada.  If you have never been there, well, you haven’t missed much.  I can say that we visited the “famous” Mitzpah Hotel, stayed in a shell of a home in the desert which is now owned and refurbished by some Richie Rich who put his heli-pad out there and we visited several underground nuclear test sites.  If I ever get lung cancer it’s because I laid in the dirt that actually was registering on the Geiger counter.  Boy did Peter Goin point out what a stupid move that was.
I had a great time and while most of my fellow photographers took landscape and abandoned building/mining/rock painting photos I hauled around a blow up sex doll I named Helga.  She really got around.  That’s right.  My photo series was called Helga Does Tonopah.  Just a taste for you.

Ok.  Now that we got the dirty doll out of the way.
While in Tonopah a group of us found it fascinating to enter our fair share of abandoned homes. Don’t think we were alone in this.  These places were a popular hangout for the teenagers of Tonopah, and several in our group were photographing these kids in their “natural” habitat.  On one occasion I thought we were all going to die in a fire because the kids had a “campfire” burning on the second floor.  Not in a fireplace mind you, BUT ON THE WOOD FLOOR!  The ashes could be seen burning through and falling to the first floor.  Ah, to be young again.
So let me get to the point of this blog.
One of the small homes that we poked around in had a small pile of rubbish pushed up into the corner.  I, being the scavenger that I am, always poked and prodded looking for “treasures”.  In this particular house I found one, a small photograph of a girl. This Daguerreotype is framed in metal and in typical folding frame of the time.  Only one side exists as the other broke off at the hinge.  Here is the image of the little girl.  You will notice that her face and gold necklace have been hand painted.

Normally this sort of photo would be untraceable.  But it is what is behind the photo that gives me some clues as to the family. It reads (to the best of my translation ability). 

Jane Hollow Howard Chambers
Jane Hollow born Oct 19 –1858

Jane Hollar Howard Chambers
Jane Hollar born Oct 19 1858

Mother of Edith Gertrude Cain O’Rourke born Jan 2 - 1878

Here is a photograph of the writing that was hidden behind the photo for all these years.  If you have any suggestions as to corrections to my translation, please, let me know.

Please, share this blog with your friends, Facebook, twitter and other friends and help me return this photo to descendants of this family.

Dropbox Saves The Day, Then Screws With Me

Posted by He Said

While we were in Beijing there were several tools that made our life easier but none was more useful than Dropbox. This personal version control on steroids allowed me to quickly and easily share files with friends and family as well as come home from work to find my my recorded TV shows already on Susanne’s laptop as well as easily upload images to Picasa.  Picasa you ask (well if you don’t ask I will ask for you)?

Along with Facebook and Twitter we found that http://Picasaweb.google.com is blocked in China.  As this is my web album of choice it made it difficult for me to upload images. On the PC that we left at home I configured one album for each month we would be gone to automatically web sync to Picasa.  These three folders were located in my Dropbox folder.  This meant that all I had to do in China was drop my daily pictures into my Dropbox picture folders and wait for them to be magically synced to my PC here in Reno, then automatically uploaded and synced to my Picasa web albums (March, April 1 & 2, May 1 & 2).

It worked magically till the day it didn’t.

I used another tool of choice called LogMeIn (which allows me to control any PC from any other PC, or from my iPhone using LogMeIn Ignition) to access my PC only to find my C drive full!  The PC uses a small 30gb SSD drive as the primary boot partition and a secondary drive for everything else.  When I left I had 15gb free.  I kept logging in only to find the C drive full.  After some digging I found the issue. 

Dropbox keeps a cache of files deleted and active in a cache folder on the C drive.  Even after I had deleted my TV shows from Dropbox they were still being held onto in the cache location and filling up my boot drive and causing all kinds of havoc.

Dropbox does not natively support changing the location, nor can it be changed from the registry (that I am aware of).  In Windows 7 the files are stored in the C:\Users\YourUsername\AppData\Roaming\Dropbox\cache folder so installing the application to a different drive will not solve the problem.  After a quick search I ran across only one application to address this, and it did not meet my needs. DropBoxDataWrapper requires you uninstall Dropbox first and I did not want to do this.

So I fixed this myself and I didn’t have to uninstall and reinstall anything and now my C drive is happy.

Of course the week before I left China the Chinese government blocked Dropbox as well.  I think they wanted keep American Idol out of the country.  You know, to preserve their youth’s innocence.

How To Move The Dropbox Cache Folder

Windows 7 / Vista:

1. Shutdown Dropbox
2. Browse to your Dropbox cache location
• Likely here c:\Users\YourUsername\AppData\Roaming\Dropbox
3. Move the entire cache folder to another drive location. 
• I created F:\Program Files\Dropbox\cache folder.
4. Execute the command (using your correct path locations)
• mklink /D C:\Users\YourUsername\AppData\Roaming\Dropbox\cache “F:\Program Files\Dropbox\cache”
• Be sure to use quotes around the folder name if there are spaces
5. You should see a new folder created in the location of your original cache location.  It will have a shortcut arrow, and if you open it, you should be directed to the new location of your cache folder.
6. Restart Dropbox and rejoice

Windows XP

Windows XP does not include the mklink command.  You can use junction.exe or linkd.exe to create symbolic links7 using similar steps as shown above for Win 7/Vista.  Instructions for junction can be found at Microsofts Technet.

My Final Open Letter To My Coworkers

Posted by He Said.

This was the last letter I wrote to my coworkers while here.  Perhaps I will write a final FINAL one detailing my adventures in Xi’an after I get home.  Tomorrow night we leave on the sleeper train.  We may have internet access and will post again if our laptop doesn’t die on us. We return to Beijing for one night only and will be busy packing everything up (including the internet hardware). If we are not able to post again, I want to thank all of your for your letters of support, encouragement and smart ass comments.  It has been quite the adventure.  I do hope to post again before I leave, but I cannot guarantee it.

===

Greetings,

This weekend was my last here in Beijing.  Friday night we leave for the week and will be in Xi’an returning to Beijing Thursday morning and leaving on a plane to fly home on Friday at mid day.

We have had a lot of fun here, and have made many friends.  We want to thank all of you for your assistance and kindness while we have been here.  Susanne and I hope to come back again some day to visit.

Thank you all for being the kind, friendly and helpful  people that you are.  We will miss you.
Oh, and if you see any pictures of my kids showing up on Chinese internet websites, please let me know :).  I know that my children will miss many of you!

Our children are having a hard time understanding how much time passes before we leave home, so I used my fine art skills to produce a calendar to help them mark off the days.One of the things that I have always wanted to do was ride on a train. A very fast train.  We do not have these in America and China has some of the fastest trains in the world. So this weekend we took the speed train from Beijing South train station to Tianjin.

We packed up the family and took the subway to the train station and were able to buy our tickets with the help of someone in the line who spoke a little English. We rode the train and I loved watching how fast we were going.  A top speed of about 206 mph.  It does not feel like you are going fast at all. Then we explored 古文化街 (Ancient Culture Street) in Tianjin.   We did some shopping (the prices were very good) and the people were very kind.  Fewer people asked for our children’s photographs so we were able to explore without being bothered much.

I even found shoes in my size. :)   
We walked across the bridge on the 海河 (Hai River) and then took a cab back to the station and came home.  It was a long and fun day. I think it is a very good place to recommend foreigners to visit.  If we had more time I think we would have taken a ride on the very large ferris wheel over the river.

Saturday night the lightning and thunderstorms came.  We sat on the patio outside and watched and listened to the sounds and sights of the night.  It was awesome.Sunday was Mothers day.  The children made cards for Susanne (drawings) and we took her to Starbucks for a coffee treat!We took the subway over to Sanlitun to eat at our favorite western style restaurant for her Mother’s Day Lunch…and it was good.

I ate a giant burger called the Montana with bacon, cheese, onion rings, BBQ sauce and lettuce and onion.  It was HUGE!

 And I finished it….  They had these very cool rubber drink coasters that we were considering sneaking home.Then we talked to the manager who was from Dallas Texas.  He was a very nice man and he told us to just TAKE THEM.  He said during the busy season that over 200 a week go missing.  We felt a little bad taking them without buying some too.  So … we did both!!  :D

It was a good weekend.

Um, Yeah, I’m Not Eatin That

Posted by He Said.

With one week to go, things are supposed to be winding down as a trip ends, but instead the chaos begins.  We are trying to figure out how to get not only all the crap that we have purchased on this trip but how to include all the wonderful gifts we have been given.  Kevin, sorry, but the MacBook Pro is just not going to fit, I think you are getting a t-shirt instead. We even bought an additional suitcase today and I am STILL afraid not everything is going to make it home. 

To top things off I have been dragging and feeling pretty run down.  This makes being motivated to do anything a bit trying.

During this last week my boss from back home arrived for a weeklong trip and as such the company has to buy the required luncheon out.  We arrived a a great looking place with the coolest looking table (appearing to be made of Jade or facsimile thereof with a builtin fountain, pond and fish.  This was a tea table with built in accessories and such.  There was a large aquarium which the kids love to look at until I tell them that the fish are not for looking at, they are for eating. 

They think I am kidding.

While here we have read about, heard people talk about, witnessed on menus and even eaten the occasional strange item on the menu (can you say century egg).  This place put it all out on on the table, literally.

This restaurant really stood out as it had everything we had heard about, and more.  The menu was somewhere in the range of 25 pages filled with photos and unusual items. One of the items that was ordered for us (because you know, I like chicken) was a smoked chicken. It’s the WHOLE chicken.  They just de-feather it, clean it, lay it out, smoke it, and using the worlds sharpest cleaver chop it into little strips.  With the BONE IN! I couldn’t figure out how to eat it without breaking a tooth.

Just a small taste of the menu

Snake, Crispy Pigeon, Ducks Tongue, Pigs Lung, Chicken Feet, and of course Dog.

Yeah, like I said.  I’m not eatin that, I don’t care HOW pretty that flower is in its beak.

Do YOU Know Your Kung Fu?

Posted by He Said

Several weeks back I had the opportunity to go see a movie with my coworkers here in Beijing.  It was a big night as movies here are very expensive to see in the theatres, probably to help make up for all the DVD piracy. We went to see Alice In Wonderland in 3D on Imax.  I have never seen a 3D movie on an Imax screen before, and it was very impressive.

The movie experience started out as does everything here, with similarities to home but with small variations and Asian twists.  If it were not for the movie posters all written in Chinese, I suppose I could have been in any large theatre in any large city in the states.  Well, except for the beer being served with popcorn or that I was the only person with a naturally occurring hair color other than black. In fact the shining sea of black hair is only rarely punctuated with slight artificially colored variations on the local public or from the occasional blonde or redhead expat.  Oh, and the white haired Chinese albino - complete with white mustache - we saw today.  What are the odds of being an albino Chinese person, let alone my odds of seeing one on the subway?

Getting back to the movies… It was a very interesting experience.  As we neared the show time, an employee came out and started shouting at everyone to line up.  What I found odd was that we didn’t line up at the entrance to the theatre, but facing the wall next to it, and they took this very seriously, I assure you.  As soon as we were all in line it was redirected towards the entrance where everyone basically reshuffled and pushed for a better place in line.

Why do I find all this so strange?  We all had assigned seats. Yeah, get in line, jockey for a better place in the next line when you are directed towards the door, push and shove to get in, and then find your way to your ASSIGNED SEAT!  I guess the jockeying for the best place in line, first on the subway, first to the front of everything when there are 24 million of you in one city just gets in your blood.  Even with assigned seats.

I really enjoyed the movie because it was in ENGLISH with Chinese subtitles (in 3D of course).  For once I got all the jokes.  I understood all the subtle nuances of the conversation.  In fact I found myself laughing out loud at many places where the rest of the Chinese audience just sat and stared.  It was pretty cool.

After the movie, I was waiting to get on the subway with two of my coworkers and we were talking about action movies, and of COURSE the topic came around to asking if I knew who Bruce Lee was.  I will have you know when I was a kid, I was a Kung Fu fan.  Yeah, I even had a Bruce Lee poster on my wall.  The Chinese are very serious fans about Bruce Lee.  He is still very iconic here and several people I have talked to here believe that neither Bruce Lee nor his son Brandon Lee’s deaths were accidental. “They were murdered” I am told.  I did not argue the “facts”.  What the hell do I know about Kung Fu conspiracies.  Now if you want to talk about whether slot machines are “loosened” or “tight” I am ready to go.  Give me your best shot.

So there we are talking about Kung Fu and action films and they get very excited and ask if I know who Jet Li is.  Like I said, the Chinese I have met take their Kung Fu heroes and movie stars VERY seriously. Now I have watched a few of Jet Li’s films and to speak truthfully, they didn’t do a whole lot for me.  But I know, it’s Kung Fu, right? So I say “Oh Yeah!” and do my best arm swinging Kung Fu moves and stance, screeching out “whoooaaaah”.

I think I looked a little something like this.

Photo Credit: Emily Madison Moyle

They both looked at me quizzically and said in unison with completely straight faces “No. That is Jackie Chan.”

I stand corrected.

Xi’an and then Home

Posted by He Said

The timeframe for the trip just became compressed, and I am feeling a little stressed about the time we have left.  I still have a great deal of work to complete before I head home, but this did not stop me from taking the last week before we leave off for a vacation.

Yeah, I don’t think it’s going to be a restful one.  Next Friday we hop on a sleeper train for an overnight trip to Xi’an, home of the Terracotta soldiers.  Xi’an is the former capital of China and one of the oldest cities in the country.

We will travel back on another overnight train the following Wednesday, returning to Beijing on Thursday morning.  This means before we leave for Xi’an we will need to get everything together for the trip home, and pack for our trip to Xi’an. We have one week from today to get everything done.

The date of our return from Xi’an is the 20th of May.  It’s Susanne’s birthday that day, so I think I will give her a trip home for her birthday.

On Friday we will be up bright and early to get loaded up into the company rented van to haul us off to the airport and ship us home.

I explained to Braedyn all that we are going to do in our last couple of weeks here. In order to help him understand, I created this picture:

Braedyn is faithfully marking each day off of my “calendar.”

I just wish I had brought my anti-anxiety pills.

A Saturday Quest

Posted by He Said

At home in Reno I have two friends.  Interestingly enough I knew them both for some time before they finally met each other and fell in love.  I actually had a little to do with her coming to work with me at my recent job where she eventually met, fell in love with and ultimately married my coworker.

He is an Anti-Apple Fanatic, Microsoft Fanboy who by looking at him you would think he is the secret love child between Bill Gates and… um… well if Bill Gates could self propagate you would have my friend. The woman is an Apple iPhone fan with an obsession for all things iPhone related (and a secret lust for an Apple computer I think).  They both rock.  I was lucky enough to be the best man at their wedding and am lucky enough to call them friends.

To protect the names of the innocent in this story, let’s call them “Kevin” and “Barbara.”

I come to China and find out the one and ONLY Apple store in all of China is right here in Beijing. A short 20 minute subway right and 15 minute walk away.  I HAD to go there so I could take pictures and share them with “Barbara.”

So here is the iconic apple logo on the store in Sanlitun Village, Beijing.

 

Here is the family pretending to try to get a call through on the oversized iPhone. We were not successful.

Here is me NOT REALLY pretending to contemplate buying a Macbook Pro.

These pictures were not really for “Barbara”, but so I could piss off “Kevin” FOR “Barbara.” I am pretty sure it was successful because every time he Skypes me he waves his quality wines in my face and says “oh, sorry, I keep forgetting all the wine you get in China is CRAP!”

I wanted so badly to take pictures to share with “Kevin”  of the Microsoft campus being built right behind my apartment.  Not FOR him, but so I could also piss him off, because I have been here and he hasn’t. Neener neener neeeener.  Yes.  I am a child. Alas, there are no signs to include in pictures so they could be one of 20,000 other new buildings being erected here in Beijing.

Instead I concocted the most wonderful plan.  The most wonderfully evil of all plans.  I found a new target.  A new location that only I could visit and “Kevin” would forever be jealous of.  This morning I managed to convince the entire family to embark on my Saturday quest.

This would take me about 20 minutes across two subway lines, one very busy transfer station and a 20 minute trek through a local sidewalk market complete with shoes, clothing, mobile tattoo & piercing parlors, “professional” phone screen protection installation stations, bead, book and yes, rabbit, turtle, snake and baby chicken salesmen. Let’s not forget the socks.  Everywhere we go someone is always trying to sell us socks or there are tables full of socks for sale.

As you can see I didn’t go alone on this quest.  I took the whole family with me, and as always, it was an adventure.

We stopped to feed the kids along the way (yes, at McDonald’s, shut up and leave us alone) and enjoyed more “Brangelina visits yet another location in Beijing and gets nonstop attention and praise” moments. By the way Braedyn is getting as much attention these days as Emily.

This sidewalk sales lady insisted Emily use her chair while we waited for Susanne to order food (using her iPhone of course).

 

Then we headed up the street with me using a screencap of Google maps to find the destination of our Saturday Quest. You see it is too expensive to use AT&T here, and my phone has the latest software/firmware and cannot be unlocked to be used with ChinaTelecom.  So I can only use it online on a wi-fi connection. On the road, there is no live feed.

We also had to make one stop along the way so that Emily could pretend to make a phone call home to Jacob.  It was very sweet.  For you young whipper snappers out there, that is a Pay Phone.  You can look it up on wikipedia.

And there it is…in the distance…the object of our quest. Can you see it?

That’s right.  Google Beijing headquarters.  The holy grail of Beijing Nerddom, and I found it WITHOUT an internet connection using a screencap from GOOGLE maps on my iPHONE.

Oh, the irony.

So here it is “Kevin.”  Google Beijing visited by the Moyle family just for you.

Oh, and you know that saying they have? “Don’t be evil.”  HA! The bastards wouldn’t even let me take pictures of the 10 foot red map marker in the lobby. I could understand if the secret to their search algorithm was printed on it. It looked like the ones you see here:

 
Won’t let me take a picture? Hmph, see if I ever Google anything ever again.  Or better yet I will continue to use Google. I just wont ever click on any of your stupid ads, and I will tell all my friends…all two of them…never to click on your ads. We will drive you to BANKRUPTCY!

See how that works out for you, GoogleDevil! I JUST WANTED ONE PICTURE IN YOUR LOBBY!!!

Jerks.

I think I will go buy a MacBook now.

Update: Some of you with an attention to detail will likely point out that I said a 20 minute walk.  The Google map screenshot says 8 minutes.  Google Maps does not have an option to select Walk With Caucasion Children Through Beijing.