Thursday, July 23, 2009

Plaster of Paris Anyone?

I learned today that the person who invented toilet seat covers was either an Eskimo or likely lived in a climate that never exceeds 80 degrees. Perhaps its just a nasty prank to give the dying inventor the last laugh.

It's hot here. Not Las Vegas 120 degree hot, but 101 degrees of pure "dry heat". Dry my sweaty ass. It's hot and it makes me sweat and not in all the pleasant places like ... well, is sweat pleasant anywhere?

So today I learned that I should never, I repeat NEVER use a toilet seat cover when my backside is anything but babypowder dry. Why? It's the secret ingredient, plaster of paris.

Perhaps this is something everyone else already new, but today I realize why I prefer to use my own gasket free toilet at home. I felt like I was peeling off a really good layer of skin after a nasty sunburn, one small thin strip at a time. When that quit working there I was leaning over and brushing little rolly polly wads of paper off my backside. How long I stood there doing this I couldn't tell you. I can tell you two other gentleman used the stall next to me and three others used the urinals AND DIDN'T WASH THEIR HANDS!

I just need to learn the hover style that women use and I guess I would be ok.


  1. Well, at least you could reach it and didn't have to ask someone (ie, me) for help!

  2. Although, you know I'd do it if you asked. ;)

  3. I once had a similar aha moment like that after the kid's swim lesson. It wasn't sweat, but chlorinated pool water, but it was the same result.

  4. Sounds like no fun! Though something to think about before you try hovering: In a women's restroom the women that hover are the REASON seat covers are needed. If they weren't hovering then everything would go where it's supposed to and not on the seat. Food for thought...