Posted by He Said
So I have been TRYING to ride my bicycle to work lately. As usual, life tends to get in the way. There is always something that needs to be done during lunch or after work, but today I did it. I rode the 12 mile round trip to work and back.
One of the roads on my route home has a particularly narrow “bike path” and today was the first time I chose this direction home. Now mind you the bike path is no more than a narrow shoulder. In fact there is not even the ubiquitous bike symbol. There is a very large sidewalk that parallels this road and as the speed limit is 35 going on 50 I decided for peace of mind to ride the sidewalk. The perfectly EMPTY sidewalk. Not a soul between here and roads end where the wild horses roam.
As I am cruising along I hear from a bullhorn. “Buddy, use the bike path. That’s what its for!”
I turn and look across the street to see a motorcycle policeman in his favorite speed trap eating his donut and sipping his triple mocha while yelling at me over his bullhorn.
Did he say “Excuse me” or “Sir” or even PLEASE! No, he shouts at me through his bullhorn in a way I felt was extremely rude. So what did I do….
“GO TO HELL PO PO MO FO!” I yelled as I stood up and pedaled away while flipping him the middle finger and grinning ear to ear.
Ok, so it didn’t exactly go like that, buy I WANTED TO! Instead I simply waved, hopped off my bike, carried it over the landscaping to the street and rode off while mumbling under my breath “go to hell po po mo fo.”
End of line.