Thursday, August 23, 2012

HGTV Needs to Hire Me

Posted by She Said

You probably read the title of this blog and figured I think of myself as a master decorator who wants the likes of HGTV to hire me for one of their numerous design shows. If that’s the case, your guess would be akin to pitching during a football game – yeah, that far off. Unless there is such a thing as a pitch during a football game??? Ugh, I should know better than to use sports metaphors??? I am sports illiterate after all.

So, no. I don’t think I’m a great designer, or even above-average for that matter. I think HGTV needs to hire me because I have what I believe to be a really cool idea for a TV show. I even googled “how to submit a show idea to HGTV”, and I found a result! Yeah, a result that sucked. They can’t accept show ideas from the average joe schmo because of legal reasons. According to their site, they will only accept proposals “from television production companies with national or major market production credentials.” If you could see how hard my eyes are rolling right now, you’d certainly be impressed.

Since last time I checked I was not a member of one of those groups, I’m going to share this idea with the three of you! (If you are new here, you’ll see self-deprecating humor is BIG.)

I want a show to chronicle the building of a house. Here’s the twist: the house will be made entirely out of materials being given away for free off of Craigslist. Seriously! How cool would that be? I see all kinds of stuff being given away! Just a random perusing of Craigslist in our area revealed the following:

  • Four 4’ x 8’ Pegboards – wouldn’t that be great in a garage?
  • Lots of Rolls of Carpet, Great For Burning Man – OK, I can’t speak for the quality of the carpet, but hey, FREE CARPET! (Not to take from the burners. Peace, dude.)
  • 5 Gallon Buckets with Handles – Needed for the paint we’ll find for free!
  • Door – Duh.
  • Free Scrap Metal
  • Free Hot Tub!
  • 9’ Wood Horizontal Blinds
  • Bathroom Sink
  • Ceiling Fan
  • Mirrored Closet Doors
  • Fill dirt
  • Windows!

I know I went a little crazy with the list there, but that was all on the FIRST results page! Get the idea? What a great way to be green (reduce, reuse, recycle!), frugal (can’t get better than FREE), and make me a star all in one awesome idea?

So, anyone reading this who is a member of a national or major market production credentials (*cough* Libby *cough*) and who thinks this could lead somewhere, holla!


  1. The coolest part about this show is that we would have to live in it once the bathrooms and kitchens were in. Even if the bathrooms have urinals salvaged from camping grounds (think metal trough) and the kitchen oven was a salvaged pizza oven...WOOT. It's the DRAMA that would make this a good show and damn, can you imagine my wifes drama!!! This is gonna be a blast... Help us Logical Libby, you are my only hope!

    1. Good thing you have Stella, cuz with comments like that, you aren't going to get to sleep in our salvaged bed with the headboard made from reclaimed palettes.

    2. You say it will be propped up on milk crates?!? I'LL BEHAVE... I'LL BEHAVE!!!!

    3. Only if you find them for FREEEEE on Craigslist.

  2. I've got a bunch of miscellaneous hunks of particleboard left over from several different pieces of self-assembly furniture, kindly left in the shed by the previous owner of our house. I don't know what they're good for, but you can have them for FREEEEE! You won't even have to give me Producer credit.

    1. Sounds great. You can be the first person to sleep on the guest bed built with it!