Friday, January 9, 2009

The Dangers Of Craigslist

We all know and love, and if you don’t, you should get acquainted. Susanne and I are big craigslist users for both buying and selling. On several occasions I (note I said “I” not "we") have been shafted while waiting to meet people for something Susanne has arranged to pickup or sell. That is one of my huge pet peeves.

It’s one thing to not show up at someone’s house (as rude as that still is, I might need to run an errand, say to pick up some wine) it is a completely different beast to arrange to have someone drive to a location DURING THEIR LUNCHBREAK and wait in a parking lot for you while you decide that you really didn’t want to pay $3.50 for a CD. If I find you, I WILL let the air out of your tires. So as I said, we use it to get good deals when we can.

Susanne got a bread maker at a garage sale last summer and made so much bread that not only did she burn out the motor, but the county put up a “No Feeding The Ducks” sign at Virginia Lake. So there we are without a bread maker for several months. Well, today she made contact with someone on craigslist with an Oster bread maker at a price we just couldn’t pass up. She called me around 4:45pm from the van with both kids loaded up saying she was sitting in a parking lot waiting to meet this total stranger to buy a bread maker. Now I am not the worrying type, but follow me here.

Five o’clock rolls around and I pack up from work and head home. On my way I call Susanne’s cell phone. It rings and rings and goes to voicemail. No big deal. She must be home. So I call home. It rings and rings and goes to voicemail. Hmm. Strange. Ok, so I call the her cell phone again and no go. Ok, so the kids finally succeeded in locking mommy in the closet by propping the batwings against the doorknob.

As I said, I am not a worrier by any means, but I was a bit concerned at this point. Susanne is ALWAYS home when I get back from work, or is available by phone. I mean, either she is

  1. Locked in the closet
  2. Has run away with one of my co-workers or
  3. The craigslist guy has kidnapped my wife and children

I know that option 2 is most likely, but I am still a bit worried.

I pull into the driveway and the lights are all out. I hit the garage door opener and the van is in the garage. So they are home, but the lights are out and they are not answering the phone?

I get out and walk up to the front door trying to get the key in the lock. The porch light is out (another of Susanne’s pet peeves). The house is quiet. Any of you who have toddlers and understand the 5pm witching hour know why that means SOMETHING is wrong. Is it so far off to imagine that some crazed nut job made my wife drive my family back home and is being driven insane by my children who are making him run in circles with them to the point of vomiting?

I manage to get the key in the lock in the dark, and as I crack the door open, I see something that terrifies me and makes me scream like my wife seeing Iron Man in the shower.

I nearly peed my pants.

You win Susanne. You win.



  1. Awesome! Greg, you had it coming. Susanne, that is beyond awesomeness.

  2. Oh, and did I mention that I promised the kids an outing with Daddy tomorrow morning if they were super duper quiet when Daddy came in the door?

  3. Quite honestly, the best revenge I've ever heard of... Congratulations on having such an awesome and geeky marriage!

  4. You owe those kids more than an outing! Im thinking an outing with Ice Cream because they were so awesome and silent. Oh and get yourself something nice and gloat, because that was AWESOME!!!!

  5. Hahahahahaha! Susanne, you are REALLY in for it now!

  6. Excellent work, Susanne. Although I fear you may now be engaged in the Great Iron Man Arms Race of 2009.