Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Free Agent? Not Anymore.

I would say that becoming a stay-at-home mom has been one of the most difficult transitions I have ever faced in my life to date. Going from daily speaking geek with adults to speaking infant with two diapered ones was a challenge at best. One of the biggest hardships I have faced has been making friends with other parents. I have made “mommy friends” and been divorced by them.

I have now been at home with the kids for four years. I am happy to say I have a great group of friends that I can call upon for support and who feel they can call upon me for the same. The kids are at an age where they are just as happy playing with one another as they are heading to the beach or the park. And getting them there no longer requires a three week planning session, twelve changes of clothes, two diaper bags, and a tranquilizer (for me). I am completely enjoying being able to pick and choose what to do with the kids any particular week. Tahoe? I’ve got plenty of sun screen! Let’s go! Park day? Absolutely! Let’s pack a lunch! Pajama day? I’ll pick the first movie!

But, alas, all of this is going to change.

Braedyn starts Kindergarten next week. Everyone keeps asking me if I am going to cry on his first day. I hadn’t really thought about that. All I could think about was how much our lives were going to change. Out of the house at the SAME time EVERY day? Ouch. No more cool weather mornings at the park? Eek! No more impromptu trips up to Tahoe? Boo! *sniff* And the coup de grĂ¢ce!? I am going to miss a friend’s wedding because I don’t want to take Braedyn out of school HIS VERY FIRST WEEK. *sigh* So, when asked about the monumental first day of Kindergarten, all I could think (selfishly) was that I was losing my free agent status.

Will I cry on his first day? Well, if yesterday is any indication of what is ahead, I had better take one, no two, BOXES of Kleenex. What happened yesterday that provided this insight? I took the kids up to the school to find out where his room is and to drop off my PTO money and volunteer info. School is already in session right now, and Braedyn’s eyes just lit up seeing all those kids walking around with their backpacks on. For me, it just about sent me over the edge. Oh, I held back the tears, but it took every ounce of will power and thinking of something ugly, like bloated road kill, to do it.

Braedyn, on the other hand, is very ready and excited. He has picked out a backpack (“packpack”) and is feeling like a big boy. And that he is. My little boy is growing up.


Oh, damn it all. It’s starting already. Where’s my Kleenex?


  1. As fast as two years have gone, it gives me a shudder thinking about the first day of school. I can't imagine Thumper living a whole life without me. It's already hard not knowing that he's got his own friends at gym child care that I know nothing about!

  2. The pay off is watching him grow, I guess. Sniff. I'm getting choked up now, too!