Tuesday, August 25, 2009

My Back Pocket Voodoo Dolls

I recently read Libby Logic’s post about the atrocious customer service her family received at one of their local restaurant chains in Utah, and my feathers got all ruffled and pissed off for her. I got all “what’s the matter with people today?” and “where has common courtesy gone?” and “WTF are people thinking?” and “people think they are all that and a bag of chips!”

OK, you get the point. Customer service today sucks.

Then I started thinking. How can we expect to get a smile and a sincere hello from people we don’t know when there are atrocities being committed by the ones we do? I have two friends that have had horrible things happen to them by the person who was supposedly there to love and cherish them. Which leads me to why I carry around two voodoo dolls in my back pockets. Why there? Because I hope they feel the burn when I sit on them.

Two stories. Two mega assholes. I have changed the names of the innocent but kept the names of the guilty. First, my dear friend, Cicely (name changed to protect her), who doesn’t have an evil bone in her body, was 5 months pregnant when her partner of FIFTEEN years decided he didn’t love her anymore and wanted a divorce. Yeah, so my first voodoo doll is named Mark (name not changed).

Second, my friend, Brenda (name changed to protect her), had given her all to her partner. This dynamo has a huge heart too, so that is saying a lot! She sold her house and put all of her money into making a new, remodeled home with this woman. She became a parent to her child and loved her like her own. Then about five years into the relationship, Brenda was told to move out. No warning. Just get out. And our backasswards laws don’t protect same-sex partnerships, so she lost everything. EVERYTHING. So my second voodoo doll is named Nicole (again, no name change here).

Cicely and Brenda are both strong women with amazing hearts and are moving along nicely. I like to think that my having grudges and fostering ill-will through my dolls helps. I hold the grudge, so they don’t have to. Sitting on Mark and Nicole makes me feel better.

So, carry a voodoo doll around with you. Next time someone stiffs you on the breadsticks, whip it out and twist an arm or two. It might just make you feel better. It works for me.


  1. Ok that is hilarious... thank you so very much for carrying a voodoo doll for me because I never would, it is what it is... i love you!

  2. I am totally down with standing up for the girls. When a friend of mine was cheated on and left, I cut her lying, cheating, bastard of an ex out of every picture I had of them. And then I kept the pictures up as a reminder that she deserves better.

  3. What a great idea! I may have to stick a doll in my purse "just in case".

  4. Gotta get me one of them voodoo dolls. I have someone in mind right now.

    BTW - awesome blog. Really and truly.