Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Was that Thanksgiving or was It a Big Ass Party?

This year we opted for the “fun with friends” theme over the “obligatory family” theme for Thanksgiving. Even though not getting invited by any of our family helped make the choice of themes crystal clear, in all honesty, it was refreshing and FUN <gasp>. There was no clock watching, no food throwing, and the only tears this year didn’t come from me but from my two overtired children.

Our guests, well, let me just introduce them. First, Lee. Lee is from Hawaii and is 22 years old. He brought a full case of Red Bull and a full bottle of Absolut Mandarin Vodka to make Tang Bangers. Oh, yum, yum! Start with about 4 ounces of Red Bull, and when you are ready to party, drop the shot glass full of Absolut into the glass, and chug. Lee doesn’t even drink but brought all of this for those of us who you know, occasionally imbibe. In addition to bringing drinks of cheer to our festive day, he brought a slew of Wii games to play. So many I thought Braedyn’s head was going to pop. And on top of all of that, Lee is one of the kindest and most polite guys I’ve ever met.

Second, CJ. CJ is seriously the kindest, sweetest woman I have ever met. She has a HUGE heart, loves kids and dogs (and they LOVE her), and could seriously kick anyone’s ass I know. She’s all that in about a 5 foot package. She runs marathons, competes in triathlons, and belongs to a local search and rescue squad. Greg has known her for many, many years, and I’m just grateful she digs women, otherwise I would have lost Greg to her eons ago.

Third, Eric and Jackie. This fun-loving couple moved here from Jersey a couple of years ago, and they. can. party. I often tease Eric for being a “Jersey boy with no filter.” You’ll see why I say that in a minute. Jackie is a tremendously kind-hearted, and this couple is truly a blast to be around.

Fourth, my step-son, Jacob. Awesome young man with a generous spirit and big heart. Oh, and he is excellent competition on the Wii for Lee. OK, Jacob is the only one out of all of us who even came CLOSE to beating Lee. Braedyn gave it an honorable attempt, but it was Jacob that ultimately provided Lee with some semblance of a challenge.

Fifth, Braedyn and Emily. Ah, our children. They hate turkey and wanted nothing to do with the dinner I slaved over. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Braedyn just wanted to pillage the bag of games that Lee brought.

So, in my attempt to make Thanksgiving as homey as possible to all of our guests, a few days prior to the big day I sent out an email asking them to let me know if there was something in particular that really made Thanksgiving for them.

Lee said he’d like to have us serve a turbaconducken. Um, sure. I’ll get right on that. Oh, and the day rental of the defibrillator.

Eric emailed me. I have contemplated putting his response in this post, but I have decided to summarize his traditional Thanksgiving request instead. It involved his Nana, her homemade cocaine, two hookers, and some pumpkin pie. His no-filter self had a blast writing this tongue-in-cheek email, a story written in GREAT detail, and Greg and I had a very good laugh (and a few blushing moments) reading it. Oh, and Eric, if you are reading this, please, please start your own blog. You are a funny and witty guy, and people will get a kick out of your skanky, foul-mouthed self. ;)

Ultimately, our Thanksgiving was awesome. It was a blast. In fact, I think we should do it again next year. For I was thankful, truly thankful, for the fun, relaxed time had by us all. Oh, and I was also thankful, um, TRULY thankful, that Nana and her hookers live on the East coast.


  1. I noticed there are no pictures of this Thanksgiving event. hmmmmm... you sure the hookers didn't show up? ;)

  2. Um, unless you were charging for something I didn't know about, I'm pretty sure.

  3. That sounds like a great time! I wanna see Eric's original email.

  4. I was just wondering if maybe you could write a personal ad for me? I am bound to score every hot chick this side of the Sierra's if you did! It was a blast, thanks so much for the great time- even if you wouldn't let the hookers come..