Each and every night after the grownups have had their wine and watched their evening TV it’s time to lockup and power down the house before bed.
One peculiar routine MUST be followed. If Susanne or I do not remember to extend one of the gates we purchased for riot control and lean it against Braedyn’s door we will hear about it. Oh will we hear about it.
Usually we will hear his SCREAMS in the middle of the night because FSM FORBID Charmin is ON HIS BED. You would think she was trying to eat his face or something.
When I was a child not only did my dogs sleep on my bed, but Critter (yes that was her name) and later Sierra (pictured with my brother) would sleep all the way UNDER my covers tucked against my feet. Seriously. How does a dog breathe down there next to a teenage boys feet?
Poor Charmin, she just wants to sleep on the end of his bed. Ok, she may try to lick him before she settles down, but its not like he has any comprehension of where that tongue was 15 minutes earlier during a “cleaning” session.
So each and every night I extend the gate and each and every morning Braedyn TRIES to quietly move the gate. This is my alarm clock. It’s like the TV show Prison Break, except without the tattoos, and with a dog who’s mouth smells like….well, you know.
My dog would have that gate knocked down in a second. Nothing keeps her from crushing my feet at night...
ReplyDeleteGod save me from ever having to buy the boy a dog. And man, you really do need help with those apostrophes!
ReplyDelete