Tuesday, April 13, 2010

You Asked For It. Public Urination.

Posted by She Said

First, let me apologize to my Dad, who has assured us he has heard quite enough about pooping and peeing in China, thank you very much.

That being said, you guys said you wanted to know more, and who am I not to give you what you want?

OK, first it is important for me to demonstrate to you the proper way of squatting when using the public WCs:


This demonstration by Braedyn not only shows the proper art of the squat, but also demonstrates the last age I was able to hold this pose without falling on my ass. I only recently learned that this is the proper technique during a trip to the WC in the subway station. One of the stall doors was missing. This wasn’t the first time I have seen this, but it was the first time it happened in conjunction with a long line of women waiting to use the facilities. Rest assured men, there was still no line outside of the men’s facilities. This has not shifted across cultures. Lucky you.

So, my turn in the public subway WC comes up, and lucky me! The doorless stall is ALL MINE. Even though the thrill of sharing my squatting technique with the hordes of women waiting in line was almost too hard to pass up, I simply stared straight ahead and pretended it wasn’t there. I opted to wait for a little squatting privacy. The women behind me had no such qualms about sharing their squatting technique with the throngs of full-bladdered women. They saw an opening, me ignoring the same opening, and pushed past me to get to it. And it was this willingness to use the doorless stall that I attribute to learning the PROPER squatting technique.

Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t ogling them as they did their business. I happen to have mad skills beyond ordering a full meal for four without opening my mouth. My peripheral vision happens to be spot on. And in this case, in came in rather handy in learning the way I was squatting here was all wrong. I do it more like an old lady trying to pick something up off of the ground without bending her legs as much as her back. I now understand why I haven’t seen any of these hot items being worn here. Can you imagine trying to squat wearing one of those?

You’d think I would have known I was doing it wrong after seeing not one, but two kids peeing out in public, both demonstrating the proper squatting method. The first time, I didn’t realize what I was seeing. The little girl, around Braedyn’s age, was on the top of a concrete ramp. I smiled at her, and as I passed her, my stellar peripheral skills kicked in enough that I had to do a double take. Yes, yes, that was her little bum looking back at me. She was in fact peeing at the top of the ramp. Maybe it was a form of dodge ball for the other kid at the bottom of that same ramp.

Then at the park on Greg’s birthday, a little girl around Emily’s age picked a good spot in the grass, pulled down her pants, squatted in the correct manner, pulled her pants out of the way, and did her business. Greg wondered if adults could get away with it too, but when I offered to try and find out, he said he’d rather not see me get yelled at again (a blog for another day) and passed on my generous offer. *Shrug*

I’m not entirely sure why Greg even asked me about adults peeing in public, because, duh, he already knew the answer! Just ask him about the time he was walking home from work down the alley (the same one with the Stemed Dumping shop, fried bread, and the one I saw the girl peeing on the ramp) and discovered the answer to that question. Oh, what the heck. I’ll steal his thunder and tell you myself.

A man, wedged between two cars, saw Greg, the big white guy, walking by and said “ni hao”. Greg smiled and said hello back, and as he walked past him realized that he was in fact relieving his bladder. Right there in the alley. So, not only was he peeing in public, albeit an alley, but he was also breaking the two cardinal rules of a peeing man, at least in America. No eye contact and no talking.

Now, those one piece jump suits aren’t popular here among adults. Given the nature of peeing around here, I’m not surprised. I am, however, seriously surprised that I don’t see adults sporting these little numbers that are wildly popular on the babies here:



  1. I will never forget the first time I saw someone peeing on the street in Asia. I will also never forget learning the hard way you have to buy toilet paper before you go into the stall in a public restroom.