Brilliant Balloon Modeling, Picasso Style

Last weekend at a saaaaaaaaaaaale, I picked up a bunch of balloons, a manual balloon blower-upper thingy, and an instruction booklet on “Brilliant Balloon Modeling” for a whopping 50 cents. I figured, oh, this could be a fun thing to do with the kids. Uh-huh. Sure it could.

This is kind of how THAT brilliant idea went:

Me: Ok, we’re going to make some balloon animals. <crack open the book>
Emily, Braedyn, and Hannah: <collective> YAY!
Emily: I want a flower!
Braedyn: <after seeing an airplane in the book> Ooh, I want that! An airplane!
Me: OK, let’s try the airplane first. It doesn’t look too hard. (Famous last words.) All right. Step one. Inflate a balloon leaving a six inch tip. Greg is always telling me what six inches is, so I think I can eyeball that. OK. Now, let’s see… Begin the plane’s tail by twisting a 2 1/2 inch bubble, followed by a 1 1/4 inch bubble, which is ear twisted. Ear twisted? WTF?

After some time fumbling…

Me: Hannah, can you give me some room?
Emily: I want a flower!
Me: <grunt>
Braedyn: Can I play with this? <pointing to the blower upper thingy>
Me: Uh, NO! <fumble, fumble, fumble>
Braedyn: I want an airplane!
Hannah: I want a dog!
Me: You guys HAVE to be patient. This is NOT easy! I’ve never done this before. Gimme some space! <growl>

After even more fumbling…

Me: AGH! OK. Here’s your airplane, Braedyn. Just use your imagination.

Yeah, I know. It doesn’t look anything like the picture does it?

Then, the dog:

Shut up.

Then, while trying to make a second dog and a sword, the balloons popped on me. Not one of my favorite things, I must say. So, in a huff, I put all of the stuff back in the bag and told the kids that we would try later. Maybe. Given the look of frustration on my face, they all just ran outside to play and didn’t argue with me.

After today’s fiasco, I have a newfound respect for those damn balloon toting clowns.  Creepy or not, that is some serious talent.