Saturday, August 30, 2008

If the Stalls Had Ears

It was a lazy Saturday. Garage saling was great, and the kids were enjoying my day’s treasures. In typical Greg & Susanne fashion, we decided to go out to eat and worry about the funds later. (We don’t do this often, but rather than go look at houses we can’t afford, we’ll opt for the less expensive lunch out.)

Before I tell the story about the discussion Braedyn and I had in the bathroom at the restaurant, I have to translate for you some of our family’s terminology:

Lunch house = restaurant
Go potty = go pee
Pee-pee = penis

We hop on over to a lunch house for a bite. (I was craving a BBQ Chicken Chop Salad – YUM!) We pet a puppy on the way in, so of course being the neurotic mom I am I made sure we washed our hands before we ate. After ordering, I took Braedyn in to the bathroom first. He decided he needed to go potty too. We cram ourselves into a tiny stall and as he is peeing he looks up at me and says matter-of-factly, “Mommy, did you see? My pee-pee is getting bigger.” I chuckle nervously and wonder what the hell the woman who was washing her hands at the sink must be thinking. In the event she is even still there I say a tad louder than usual, “Yes, Braedyn, just like the rest of you. You’re growing and getting so big!” To which he replied, “Yeah, but Daddy’s pee-pee is bigger than mine.” When we left the stall, I was a bit relieved to see she was no longer in the bathroom.

OK, I was at a loss here. I simply laughed. Braedyn took my queue and started laughing too. When I got back to the table and told Greg the story, his response was, “Well, did you do me proud and say, ‘Oh, YEAH it is!!!’” I was like, “Dear, there wasn’t anyone in the bathroom.” He looked incredulously at me and said, “So?”

So, I learned that size matters most of all to men, and it is always important to talk up that size even in the presence of stalls. Empty stalls. With no one in them.

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