Gender Confusion

Today was a rough day for Braedyn.

Last night we had guests over for dinner and he drank way too much juice, ate too much dessert, and went to bed too late.

I made it worse by letting him get up and play video games for the first two hours of the day. This resulted in a SEVERE case of what I call VGS or Video Game Syndrome. This is that horrible crappy feeling you have when you have over stimulated your brain, given it too much sugar, not enough air, and way too many realistic 3D immersive games. This condition has a very strange bell curve. It affects the young and the wise (not going to call myself old just yet). Between the ages of 14 or so and the late twenties there is a strange resistance to VGS.

I am working in the yard when Emily runs out back to tell me lunch is ready (totally naked btw, not relevant but a funny sight nonetheless) and I hear Braedyn crying hysterically in the house. Nonstop tears. A VGS breakdown in full swing. After a typical He Said/She Said volley…

Susanne: “You eat, I will sit with him.”

Me: “No you eat, and I will sit with him.”

Susanne finally won and sat with him while I ate my lunch. Eventually we traded places at which time the Battle For Daddy’s Lap ensued. I could hear the announcer “On this side of daddy’s lap we have Naked Emily. On the other side we have Crying Braedyn.” I could have put the Great Wall of China down the middle of my body and they would have STILL found a way to kick and poke each other across my lap.

After finally throwing Emily out of the ring for ignoring the referee’s commands to keep it a clean fight Braedyn started to calm down. He looks up and starts playing with my ear.

Braedyn: “Is that a hole in your ear daddy?”

Me: “It sure is. I used to have an earring.”

Braedyn: “Was that when you were a boy or a girl?”